The Onion Gets It:

Public Outraged As Price Of Fast-Depleting, Non-Renewable Resource Skyrockets
December 28, 2005
ATLANTA (Oct. 12)—Americans are expressing their outrage at the soaring price of the non-renewable resource gasoline from the passenger seats of their vehicles across the country. "America means having a right to cheap gas without having to say please," said Augusta, GA resident George Rizner, idling in his Hummer H2 in a protest near the Georgia State Capitol. "What are we supposed to do, walk?" Rizner then did doughnuts in a nearby parking ramp until his vehicle stalled. The public continues to express similar frustration at long lines at gas pumps, constant and disruptive road construction, and increasing traffic gridlock, insisting that all these problems can be easily solved with more and cheaper gasoline.